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Mar. 22nd, 2006

There was spider in my house.

A big, hairy, mean one that wanted to bite off my toes!

I came home, fully expecting no other furry creatures other than Koke to greet me at the door. Yea, I walked in, took off my coat and draped it over the chair by the door, and as I was leaning back, I came face to face with a large, brown spider.

Spider: "RARRRRR!!!" *jump*

Mel: "EEEEEEK!!!" *flatten oneself against the door, watch as the spider crawls swiftly down the wall and out of sight* *let out a deep breath*

*moment of silence*

Spider: "Ha-HA!" *leaps out from behind the corner, runs at Melya*

Mel: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" *throws open the door, runs outside* "EEEEEEEE!!!"

Koke: "???"

Mel: *slams door shut, runs around to the back door, looks around the corner before letting oneself in*

Koke: *coming in from the kitchen* "???"

Me: "Did you see the SIZE of that thing!? It wanted to eat my soul!"

Koke: "???"

Me: *creeps around the house, carefully watching all corners*

*moment of silence*

Spider: "Ha-HA!" *leaps out from the front-door corner, runs at Melya*

Mel: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" *runs upstairs* "-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!*

Spider: "I'll get you, my pretty!"

Mel: *grabs Hanes manual* "OMG OMG!" *hyperventilates*

*silence*

Spider: *peeps around the corner*

Mel: *doesn't breathe*

Spider: *maniacal cackle* *runs at Mel*

Mel: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" *wild swinging with Hanes manual* *thwack!*

Spider: *dead*

Mel: *thwack!*

Spider: *twitch*

Mel: *thwack!*

Spider: *twitchtwitch* *dead*

Mel: *breathes*

Koke: "???"

Mel: *feels a moment of remorse, perhaps he just wanted a hug, after all...*

Spider #2: "YOU KILLED MY FATHER! PREPARE TO DIE!" *runs down the wall*

Mel: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Don't you just love spam? Not the meat, but the stuff that comes in your inbox. Like this:

michal - I've been sorrowful with my size lately, what and you. 8:25 pm

It's not the "sorrowful with my size lately" (really - size with what? "God, I'm SO short, WOE WOE!" or maybe "Oh, my feet are too large, it's Chinese foot-binding for me!"), it's the "what and you" that gets me. And then, of course, GMail puts "Ginger Spam Salad" at the top as a clickable link.

Cathie - dont you want to pleaase your girlfriends. 4:25 pm

Because, don't you know, I have so very many girlfriends running around, it's so hard to keep track of how I can pleaase them all!

vfdaksbf - get a large r pen is now 3:29 pm

What.

...

On the upside, far from being sorrowful with my size, I've decided to try the "Savory Spam Primavera" that pops up every so often. After all, you have to give spam a chance sometime.

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